Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
