don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
