Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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