you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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