Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
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