i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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