Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
