just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
bring money and cleavage
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
