he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
