We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
