Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
