On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
