Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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