The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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