I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
