they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
