i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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