cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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