Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
