i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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