Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
