i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
