my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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