If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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