my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
