Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
