You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
