I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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