in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
