I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
