dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
