I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Randomize
