Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
