I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
