Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
