remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
