I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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