first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
