ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
