Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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