I don't think brook has ever known best
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
