Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
