Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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