can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
