If that was your dad, he is hot
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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