You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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