using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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