That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
