Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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