I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
